Coping with Grief and Divorce During the Festive Season

24/11/2025

The festive season is often portrayed as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. Everywhere you look, there are images of happy families, shared meals, and laughter. But for many people, December can be one of the hardest times of the year—especially if you're facing grief or walking through the pain of divorce.

You may feel like the world is celebrating while you're just trying to survive the day. The empty chair at the table, the changed family traditions, or the silence where there used to be laughter can make your heart ache in ways that are hard to put into words.

If this is your reality, you are not alone—and your pain is not invisible to God.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." – Psalm 34:18

Here are some gentle, practical ways to cope with grief and divorce during the festive season.

1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel

There is no "right" way to grieve. You may feel sadness, anger, loneliness, guilt, relief, or even moments of joy—and sometimes all in the same day. The pressure to be "okay" because it's Christmas or holiday time can make you feel worse.

You don't have to pretend.

  • It's okay if you don't feel festive.

  • It's okay if you cry.

  • It's okay if you feel numb.

Allowing yourself to feel what you feel is part of healing. Suppressing your emotions only pushes the pain deeper.

Gentle step: Set aside a few minutes each day just to check in with yourself: "What am I feeling right now?" Name it before God, honestly and without judgement.

2. Adjust Your Expectations

The festive season may not look the way it used to—and that reality can be painful. Grief after losing a loved one, or the restructuring of family life after divorce, often means old traditions don't fit anymore.

Instead of forcing everything to be "like before," give yourself permission to:

  • Simplify celebrations

  • Say no to events that feel overwhelming

  • Create smaller, quieter moments of meaning

It's okay if this year is different. Survival might be enough for this season—and that is valid.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." – 2 Corinthians 12:9

3. Create New Traditions with Meaning

While some traditions may be too painful to keep, new rituals can bring comfort and a sense of grounding.

If you're grieving a loved one, consider:

  • Lighting a candle in their memory

  • Sharing a story about them at the meal

  • Setting up a small "memory space" with photos, letters, or meaningful items

If you're navigating divorce:

  • Create a new tradition for yourself and/or your children—like a special breakfast, a movie night, or a quiet outing

  • Focus on what you can control: kindness, presence, and emotional safety

New traditions don't erase the loss, but they can help your heart find new ways to hold both sadness and hope at the same time.

4. Be Honest with the People Around You

You don't have to carry this alone. Sometimes friends and family want to support you but don't know how. They might worry about saying the wrong thing, or they may assume you're fine because you're functioning on the outside.

It's okay to say:

  • "This season is really hard for me."

  • "I don't have the energy for big gatherings, but I would appreciate a visit or a call."

  • "Can we talk about [their name]? It helps me to remember."

And if you're co-parenting after divorce, try to communicate openly about plans and expectations for the children. Clear communication, even if it's difficult, can reduce anxiety and prevent misunderstandings.

5. Take Care of Your Body While Your Heart Heals

Grief and emotional pain are not only felt in the heart—they affect the body too. You may struggle to sleep, overeat, undereat, or feel constantly tired.

You don't need to "fix everything," but small acts of self-care can make a real difference:

  • Try to keep a simple daily rhythm: wake, eat, move, rest.

  • Drink water and try to eat regular meals, even if they're small.

  • Go for a short walk, sit in the sun, or stretch your body gently.

Your body and soul are connected. Caring for one supports the other.

6. Lean Into God's Presence

In seasons of loss, it can feel like God is far away. You might wonder why this happened, or where He is in the middle of your pain. The Bible doesn't promise a life without suffering—but it does promise His presence in it.

Sometimes, God's comfort comes quietly:

  • In a verse that speaks directly to your heart

  • In a song that reminds you of His faithfulness

  • In a moment of unexpected peace during a very hard day

You don't need perfect prayers. A simple, honest: "Lord, help me get through today," is enough.

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me." – Psalm 23:4

7. Reach Out for Support

You don't have to be strong on your own. Grief and divorce are heavy loads, especially when the rest of the world seems to be celebrating. Speaking to a counsellor, coach, pastor, or support group can give you tools and a safe place to process what you're going through.

At MINDSHIFTERS, we journey with individuals and families walking through:

  • Bereavement and loss

  • Separation and divorce

  • Blended families and co-parenting challenges

  • Emotional and spiritual struggles during "trigger" seasons like Christmas, New Year, and family holidays

There is no shame in needing help. Reaching out is not a sign of weakness—it's a sign of courage.

A Final Word of Hope

If you're facing grief or divorce this festive season, please know this:

You are not behind.
You are not broken beyond repair.
You are deeply seen and deeply loved.

This season may be marked by tears, but it can also be a time where God quietly holds you together, one day at a time.

You don't have to "move on" quickly. You are allowed to heal slowly. And you don't have to do it alone.

If you need someone to talk to, MINDSHIFTERS is here to support you—one conversation, one step, one small bit of hope at a time.

Share